I just found out I’m not getting a promotion on my team at work. I am crushed. It’s a role I already know how to do, and I know I could bring a lot to it. But alas, I was not chosen. There are no two ways about it, this feels like a failure.
However, I do firmly believe everything happens for a reason. I’m clinging to that adage as I dust myself off and look forward. The first step is to thank my manager and the hiring team for the opportunity to interview for this position.
It’s so important to be gracious when you’re passed over for a promotion or new role on your team. Unless you were not promoted due to illegal, discriminatory reasons in which case you should talk to your HR team (race, sexual preference, gender, age, SES, etc.).
The LAST thing I want to do right now is thank my manager for not giving me this new role. But the professional side of me refuses to burn bridges.
Why should you take the time to send thank-you’s for a job you didn’t get?
It shows professionalism and poise
First, it was likely a difficult decision for the hiring team. Imagine how much better they will feel knowing there are no hard feelings. That will show the hiring team that you’re professional, poised, and resiliency. This is important as it keeps you in the team’s good graces and can help you be better positioned for future opportunities.
You might not know why you didn’t get the job. A lot of times hiring managers have a very difficult time deciding between multiple candidates. You may never know the reason(s) why you didn’t get the job, but it’s helpful for everyone to trust that though you were a great fit, someone was a bit better of a fit. It just means there’s a better job or promotion out there for you.
It keeps the road clear for future opportunities
If you learn you did not get a promotion and begin a witch-hunt to discover who on the hiring team voted against you, or corner someone in the breakroom and demand to know who got the job and why it will probably feel really good. But it won’t do much else for you. Once a decision is made, it’s final. You’re not going to change anyone’s mind, so the best thing you can do is graciously accept that you didn’t get the position and immediately look forward. Showing grace at this moment in your career will position you as a team player who will be well thought of for future opportunities that arise.
It affords you another opportunity to underline your skills and desire for advancement
When you send a thank-you note, you will be able to subtly remind the hiring team why you applied for this opportunity in the first place. Leave them with a concise list of what you bring to the table. You also want to let them know that you’re ready for the next step in your career, and even though this wasn’t it for you, you’ll be watching and listening for any others that might come up.
What next?
Step one: let yourself feel your emotions. Cry, scream, run, drink wine…do whatever you need to do. I recommend writing a journal entry (more reasons why you should consider journaling here) or calling a friend to vent. Get all of your valid but less productive feelings out. It will feel good to rage cry to your mom, but you don’t want those feelings tainting your next steps.
Step two: write a thank you note to the hiring manager or interview panel. See above for some reasons why and a free template to get you started. Do this within 24 hours of hearing you did not get the role.
Step three: contact your HR representative or department to schedule a casual conversation about the experience. The purpose of this meeting is to learn from the whole process and discuss your career path at your company. Ask for direct feedback on the interview. You want to learn if there were areas you tripped up in the interview, or if you had a skill gap you could begin working on. It should be clear that you desire a new position since you interviewed for one, but reiterate this. Have a list of your skills and accomplishments ready, and inquire about how you can continue to advance and develop.
Step four: if you truly feel ready to move on to a new role with more or different responsibilities, begin looking forward. Once you’ve connected with your HR team, you might decide that you need to look outside of your current company for a new role. My favorite job searching tools are LinkedIn, Indeed, and Glassdoor. You can set up your LinkedIn account so it sends you job listings you might be interested in, and a lot of times you can apply for new jobs with the click of a button via LinkedIn. You can also explore companies in your area to understand which share your values. Finally, Indeed can help you see what the market is for your field. You can assess average pay and get a feel for how competitive the job market is in your field.
I know it stings to get passed over for the job or promotion you feel you deserve. But don’t let this setback hold you back. Be proactive and use this opportunity to better position yourself for future opportunities.
acceptably imperfect 